Dear Brittney,

I’m not sure who put it into your head that by now you should’ve not only been married, but have also had a set of fraternal twins and maybe an additional child or two, but let that thought go. You’re on the brink of 29 and while conceiving and having a child before 30 is still possible, stop living as if it’s a societal mandate because it’s not.

It’s 2018 and there are so many other aspirations that you, as a millennial woman, should be pursuing, other than having children, especially on the timeline you’ve established. Let’s face it, 40 is the new 30 and YOU. HAVE. TIME.

During this season of transition, it’s been revealed to you repeatedly that your picture isn’t yet ready for children. And that’s okay because it’s still being crafted and those details will be added when it’s time. Think of where you are right now and really evaluate if children would even make sense because it’s all fun and games until the baby shower gifts run out of stock and no one is around to help buy diapers or sit up with you and a crying baby at 3am. Your best bet is to wait for Husbae to get that M.D. behind his name, knowing how you are about quality time. A friend has already told you that you’d be mad everyday with him in school while you’re, for the most part, stuck taking care of an infant (or two, if you pray hard enough) on your own.

And stop letting social media or even other people tell you when things are supposed to happen. Stop feeling some type of way every time you see someone post a pregnancy announcement or baby photo. Your faux excitement can’t be covered up for long…and God don’t bless mess (aka envy) so you need to pray about that one, sis.

Seriously, you’re laughing while giving yourself this word but know this: God moves when HE is ready, not when you THINK you are. That perfect 107th filtered retake doesn’t tell the whole story and even if it did, it’s not YOUR STORY. Let God continue to draft this bestseller, entitled Your Life. Enjoy it in this moment before it gets more complicated. You’re still young, healthy and love your “me time,” and while not all of that goes completely out of the window upon becoming a mother, it does become very limited until the babies reach a certain age.

I know you can’t wait to be a mom. You desire to experience pregnancy and labor in the natural-est of ways. While most don’t understand why, I get it… just like with marriage, it’s been one of your must-haves in life. But take time to evaluate your why and make sure it’s not because the world suggests that that’s all women are made to be. There’s so much for you to accomplish and while God is preparing you for motherhood, walk in those other purposes so that they’re established once the mommy hat is passed to you.

As 30 approaches, revamp your life’s timeline…actually, just throw the whole thing away! Live day-to-day, knowing that everything you’ll ever experience, good or bad, is meant to occur in the time that God allows. And you already know, He NEVER moves when or how you want Him to so just chill and accept that every event is shaping you into who He desires you to be. That includes being an amazing mother…someday.