Recently, I was driving home from work, listening to my favorite station, Praise 102.5, and the hosts of the Willie Moore, Jr. Show were discussing a post they’d seen on social media. Someone mentioned that women always have male friends around and felt as if it were detrimental for a romantic relationship, if the woman was in one. Clearly by the title of this blog, I’m not even about to delve into the craziness behind this persons statement. I do have my own beliefs concerning platonic friendships with the opposite sex, when you’re in a committed relationship, but I just don’t have the time. πŸ™…πŸΎβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΎβ€β™€οΈ

Of course lots of people, mostly women, called in to give their POVs, and many made valid points. BUT the conversation became super problematic for me when every other woman who chimed in, stated that the reason they keep male friends around is because females keep up too much drama.

So I’m not gonna sit here and even try to suggest that there isn’t some truth to that statement, especially in this age of reality television and social media constantly perpetuating the physical, emotional and mental torment that occurs between women, many who who are paid to to spend time together for ratings πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ‘€.

But these were normal, everyday women calling in about this issue — not celebrities, who earn some sort of clout for fighting one another to hype up their fanbase.

So I asked myself, “What type of female friends do these women have?”

Maybe I’ve been blessed because the group of close girlfriends I do have, never keep up drama. Having been friends since high school, I can count on one hand how many times we’ve gotten into a real disagreement that may have required apologies after the fact. But steady, meaningless drama…never!

In the midst of social media and reality tv stereotypes, there are so many pieces of evidence where women are unapologetically and unselfishly loving, supporting and uplifting one another — and that does include the building of genuine friendships in the midst of partnerships in business and life.

The idea that women are constantly competing against one another has long been forgotten and now we understand that there’s room at the table for every one of us. If you can’t agree with this, then maybe it’s time for your to reevaluate your circle of girlfriends.

A few things to consider:

1. Your girlfriends should ALWAYS be rooting for you!

You should never have to wonder if they’re jealous or hurt by your elevation or success. If they aren’t some of the first to tell you congratulations, you may need to check the authenticity of that relationship.

2. Your girlfriends should play an essential role in your GROWTH!

Whether you’ve been friends for 15 years or 15 days, your homegirls should be adding some sort of value to your life. If both of y’all are stagnant in your respective lives, the relationship isn’t fulfilling its purpose. Any relationship should promote growth and elevation, whether spiritually, mentally or emotionally, because when one of you wins, so do the others in your tribe.

3. Your girlfriends should be able to CHECK YOU WITHOUT CAUSING DRAMA.

So maybe here is where the callers of this radio show were getting confused because if your friend can’t check your attitude or call you out on your BS without a falling out occurring then Houston, we definitely have a problem. If growth is happening in the relationship, then it often occurs through checkpoints where your girl has to snap her fingers to get you to snap out of something that’s holding you back — usually demonstrated through negative choices you might be making in your personal or professional life. This should never be taken personally, and it should result in a breakup. Thank your friend for being real with you because if she can’t, then who can?

All in all, real girlfriends may be hard to come by for some people but those who can find and form those genuine relationships should hold on to them. And definitely don’t allow precious interactions to prevent you from the blessings of having a dope tribe of ladies in your life.

 

Love,

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